Under the Radar

I sometimes cover as an agency Midwife in maternity units quite a way from where I live.
This is a necessity for me, as Independent Midwifery is never going to make anybody rich, but gives me the reason for being a Midwife.

Last week, I encountered something that I found not just amazing, but also very sad.

At the beginning of a night shift, I was handed over care of a young girl after she had 'delivered' her baby. She was alone, but had some support from another woman, who left shortly after I took over her care. As the girl was sleeping with her baby by her side, I had time to read her notes in order to get to know her better.

This young girl was alone..... she had been bought over from Africa by her parents when she was 11, and left with an 'aunty' whilst the parents returned home. The aunty left and put her in the care of friends, who moved her on... who moved her on.

The girl was caught shoplifting a few months ago and was found to be almost 6 months pregnant, she had been sleeping in bus shelters because she didnt want to go back to the house where she was told to 'be nice' to the tenants male friends in order to stay there.

This girl had just turned 16. She had been in this country undetected for five years, no education, no healthcare, no social protection or support. She was moved from town to town as soon as any suspicion was raised.

The woman who had just left was her Foster Mother... she had gone home to get her the chicken and black eyed peas she was craving after her birth.
The girl woke and instinctively put her baby to the breast. As I introduced myself, she saw the notes open, and remarked that I too must now be fully aware of her history.

We chatted for a while and she spoke of her past, almost as if it was a relief for her to talk about it.
She told me that she had slept with 4 or 5 different men over the Christmas period, in return for food and accomodation, and that she had no idea who the father of her child was. Over the years, she had been beaten, hidden in wardrobes, put in vans taken to houses in the middle of the night. There were times when she didnt even know which town she was in.

At no time did she speak of the parents who had abandoned her.

She spoke with some emotion of her foster mother, who had given her safety and trust.
She told me about the moment her waters broke on the kitchen floor, and how her FM had cleared it up, then bathed and changed her. She asked her..'why are you doing this for me?' Her FM said....' because you are my sister..... my friends are my sisters and we are there for each other'..... it was at this moment that I had to excuse myself to the loo for fear of losing my composure.

This girl is now in the 'system'. She will be provided for.

What worries me is how many more are out there under the radar........

Back on Track

Some may have noticed my absence of activity over the last few months....
The reasons for this have been 2 fold
1) I have been investigated over allegations of poor care by one of my women, and have been concerned about posting anything in case anything I said was twisted and potentially used against me.

2) The pain and heartache this has caused me, has made me wonder whether I wanted to continue being an Independent Midwife, as it made me realise just how vulnerable we are out there.


Us Midwives... us 'Sisters' ....us 'Mothers who Mother'..... us 'Witches' ...us 'Women with Women'... we all endeavour to form relationships of honesty and truthfullness with our Women and there families. Its only very rare occasions when its not reciprocated.

It was actually a man...my Friend MB who told me that I should continue despite all of this. The small percentage that causes us so much distress should be cancelled out by the many positive and heartwarming experiences we have.

Thanks Cheesy... I'm back on track x x