Bringing me back to the surface

In the good old N H of S, there is a download system.....
A network of Midwives that you can select from and trust to download and reflect on all of your fears worries and weaknesses without any fear of retribution or ridicule...
These sessions can happen anywhere,... in the staff lounge, the kitchen, sluice, changing rooms... but the network is there .
If you are involved in the loss of a baby or you have been unfairly (or fairly) bollocked for something, you can find a corner and pull your mate in.. and have a good rant and cry
If you are intrigued by some different practice or want to question something, you can call on your network to listen and debate.

The word 'Independent' means 'not being subject to control by others'... but another meaning is 'not requiring or relying on others'... when clearly there are times that we need to.

I have very recently had an experience that has left me rather bereft of my own confidence. Something that I lost sleep over and cried over.
Wallowing in my own self pity made me forget that I was not the only Midwife 'not subject to control by others' .... just because i couldn't physically touch them.

We don't need to touch someone to be touched by their actions.....

I posted my dilemma on the Independent Midwives newsgroup after all else failed to stop me sinking ..... and many of my own network threw me lifelines, by e mail, by kind thoughts.... and even a phone call from Scotland from someone i have never met....

Thank you friends ... for stopping me drowning and taking me back to the land of hope