Last week, a colleague was reprimanded for sending a woman home who birthed her baby in her bathroom 2 hours later.
This woman was NOT in labour when she was seen in hospital, her waters had gone, but with no signs of labour; she was also expecting her first baby.
Although she was given the appropriate advice and advised to call and come in if she was concerned... she didn’t... her reason in the newspapers that got hold of the story ‘she thought that the unit was too busy’. She had a normal birth at home with paramedics observing, and probably didn’t even need to come into hospital if a Midwife had checked her out at home.
This was an unusually quick labour for a first time mother.... BUT IT WAS NORMAL.
My colleague is devastated at the press coverage which is inaccurate and damning of the maternity service at the unit involved.
Yes... most of the units I see are busy.. Yes Midwives are often stretched to their limits in major maternity units... but a woman’s safety is always the optimal goal in every circumstance.
I saw nothing in the news about the baby delivered outside a London Hospital on the pavement last week, or the baby born on the A1 in standstill traffic near Hatfield... or even the one that died in utero after its dad punched his mother repeatedly in the stomach... and then allegedly expected her to cook his dinner.... these are far too real and distasteful
The media has a lot to answer for when it comes to information giving and ‘sensationailsation’ of Pregnancy and Birth. Women have a clouded and rosy view of pregnancy and birth via the pretty magazines on sale with promises of pain free labour and discounts on prams and nappies.. all with pictures of beautiful pregnant women with perfect unstretched bumps on the front.
How are we going to be able to keep it real.. when we battle against the media machine?
Wednesday, 4 November 2009
Thursday, 29 October 2009
One Voice
Today I saw the light of inspiration in a young African girl and her two aunties
I have been contracted to a large hospital in the South this week, and spent most of today ‘bitting and bobbing’ ...... helping out in other rooms, discharging and admitting... anything that helps my colleagues throughout the day.
I answered a call bell that took me to the room of a young 17 year old girl who was in advanced second stage of labour but with the fetal heart rate slow to recover after contractions. After letting the appropriate people know what was happening, I went back into the room to help the Midwife caring for her.
This beautiful young girl was being supported by her family... the closest she had because her mother was unable to be there.
All of the time, without any respite, one or the other Auntie would give words of encouragement to her, calling her a wonderful mother, a powerful woman, a beautiful creator of Life... taking it in turns to give praise to her.
She pushed out a big baby girl and cut the cord herself... whilst everybody in the room.. including the paediatrician..... felt a knot of emotion in their hearts.
We often go into rooms filled with people where women are desperately trying to
Birth their baby, whilst the atmosphere is filled with confusion and fear.... just because people think that they are doing their best for her by shouting so called ‘encouragement’.
I remember the words of a Midwife who looked after me with my own children, and also mentored me as a student.
One of the most profound things that she taught me was to give the woman one voice to listen to..... one voice of encouragement for her to focus on.
Its difficult to facilitate this when the medics are wanting to take control and the family think they are ‘doing the right thing’
Maybe its up to us to spread the word .......
I have been contracted to a large hospital in the South this week, and spent most of today ‘bitting and bobbing’ ...... helping out in other rooms, discharging and admitting... anything that helps my colleagues throughout the day.
I answered a call bell that took me to the room of a young 17 year old girl who was in advanced second stage of labour but with the fetal heart rate slow to recover after contractions. After letting the appropriate people know what was happening, I went back into the room to help the Midwife caring for her.
This beautiful young girl was being supported by her family... the closest she had because her mother was unable to be there.
All of the time, without any respite, one or the other Auntie would give words of encouragement to her, calling her a wonderful mother, a powerful woman, a beautiful creator of Life... taking it in turns to give praise to her.
She pushed out a big baby girl and cut the cord herself... whilst everybody in the room.. including the paediatrician..... felt a knot of emotion in their hearts.
We often go into rooms filled with people where women are desperately trying to
Birth their baby, whilst the atmosphere is filled with confusion and fear.... just because people think that they are doing their best for her by shouting so called ‘encouragement’.
I remember the words of a Midwife who looked after me with my own children, and also mentored me as a student.
One of the most profound things that she taught me was to give the woman one voice to listen to..... one voice of encouragement for her to focus on.
Its difficult to facilitate this when the medics are wanting to take control and the family think they are ‘doing the right thing’
Maybe its up to us to spread the word .......
Sunday, 25 October 2009
An Angel Remembered
I was honoured yesterday to be invited to a ceremony to celebrate what would have been the 3rd birthday of a beautiful baby girl that was lost.
B. the woman i cared for with cerebral palsy earlier in the year, lost her Angel at 33 weeks, 3 years ago, and although she has 2 wonderful sons, her daughter fills a special space in her heart.
B. is one of the most resilient women I know.
She has severe cerebral palsy, her long time partner left a few months after her last son was born and she has been defrauded of almost £2,000 by 2 carers.... all in the last 3 months.
The afternoon began with a gathering of friends... people who I had met and bonded with myself over the time I have known B.
The warmth and closeness of this small band of friends, carers and family was reminiscent of what Families used to be many years ago.... before we all became disjointed and spread ourselves far and wide in search of golden apples and promised lands.
We were all given a balloon and asked to write a message to Angel on it, before going en masse to the park next door to B’s house.
It had been cloudy and raining all day, but the clouds parted to give blue skies and sunshine when we set out.
B. asked us all to read out the message on our balloons..... this was an emotional time for all of us, but it didn’t matter... we shared our sadness and our memories as we would willingly share anything we had with our close and true friends...
C. her eldest son looked up at the sky and said ‘mummy.... you know you said Angel lives on a cloud in heaven... i know which one it is.. its that big long one over there’.
As we prepared to release our balloons... the wind started to blow, and our balloons were carried off to that big long cloud....
....my balloon said ‘I hope you’ve found my Scarlet to play with’
RIP Angel x
B. the woman i cared for with cerebral palsy earlier in the year, lost her Angel at 33 weeks, 3 years ago, and although she has 2 wonderful sons, her daughter fills a special space in her heart.
B. is one of the most resilient women I know.
She has severe cerebral palsy, her long time partner left a few months after her last son was born and she has been defrauded of almost £2,000 by 2 carers.... all in the last 3 months.
The afternoon began with a gathering of friends... people who I had met and bonded with myself over the time I have known B.
The warmth and closeness of this small band of friends, carers and family was reminiscent of what Families used to be many years ago.... before we all became disjointed and spread ourselves far and wide in search of golden apples and promised lands.
We were all given a balloon and asked to write a message to Angel on it, before going en masse to the park next door to B’s house.
It had been cloudy and raining all day, but the clouds parted to give blue skies and sunshine when we set out.
B. asked us all to read out the message on our balloons..... this was an emotional time for all of us, but it didn’t matter... we shared our sadness and our memories as we would willingly share anything we had with our close and true friends...
C. her eldest son looked up at the sky and said ‘mummy.... you know you said Angel lives on a cloud in heaven... i know which one it is.. its that big long one over there’.
As we prepared to release our balloons... the wind started to blow, and our balloons were carried off to that big long cloud....
....my balloon said ‘I hope you’ve found my Scarlet to play with’
RIP Angel x
Saturday, 10 October 2009
My Big Sister
My Sister called me today......
To tell me that She has terminal cancer and has about 2 months to live.....
I am not in shock... I knew this day would come.... she has had secondaries in her liver for a while now, but we are never prepared for our loved ones to leave us so tragically and permanently.
My immediate reaction was to talk calmly and frankly with my sister... asking her if she felt prepared for her limited future. I felt comfortable doing this, as She has talked a lot about getting herself ready for the inevitable conversation with her consultant.
We discussed how her children, who are adults themselves now with children of their own, had taken the news, what her plan of care was with the Marie Curie nurses, and if she wanted the option to go into a hospice or remain at home.
She told me that she could not cope with telling my brother.... and the sister who doesn’t speak to us any more... and I willingly took on that responsibility for her.
All of the time we spoke, on the outside I tried to be the un-phased, calm Midwife, who listened and gave honest, but hopefully cushioned answers to bad news.
On the inside, I wanted to scream at the Universe for letting this happen to a good kind hearted and vibrant sister
It was Ina May Gaskin who wrote ‘ a spiritual Midwife must be prepared to have her heart pierced, but not to fear it, as this is the way that love floods out, and it will make us better Midwives.
I hope that the piercing of my heart makes me a better sister
To tell me that She has terminal cancer and has about 2 months to live.....
I am not in shock... I knew this day would come.... she has had secondaries in her liver for a while now, but we are never prepared for our loved ones to leave us so tragically and permanently.
My immediate reaction was to talk calmly and frankly with my sister... asking her if she felt prepared for her limited future. I felt comfortable doing this, as She has talked a lot about getting herself ready for the inevitable conversation with her consultant.
We discussed how her children, who are adults themselves now with children of their own, had taken the news, what her plan of care was with the Marie Curie nurses, and if she wanted the option to go into a hospice or remain at home.
She told me that she could not cope with telling my brother.... and the sister who doesn’t speak to us any more... and I willingly took on that responsibility for her.
All of the time we spoke, on the outside I tried to be the un-phased, calm Midwife, who listened and gave honest, but hopefully cushioned answers to bad news.
On the inside, I wanted to scream at the Universe for letting this happen to a good kind hearted and vibrant sister
It was Ina May Gaskin who wrote ‘ a spiritual Midwife must be prepared to have her heart pierced, but not to fear it, as this is the way that love floods out, and it will make us better Midwives.
I hope that the piercing of my heart makes me a better sister
Thursday, 8 October 2009
A LEARNING CURVE
Yesterday was a day of revelation for me... in the shape of a woman birthing at home, when originally, she intended to have a hospital birth with all the pain relief available, as she had done with her other two children.
It increased my belief in trusting in a woman’s own instincts during the birthing process and also a kick up the backside for me and my mistimed complacency.
S has had 2 children before.
The first was in a busy city hospital in the South 8 years ago... she was induced for post maturity
She was left alone for the majority of her labour, sustained a nasty tear, retained placenta and a major post partum haemorrhage.
Seven years and 3 miscarriages later, she met and married her current husband and became pregnant with her second child.
She employed me as her Midwife because she felt so traumatised by the previous birth, not even wanting to acknowledge that the baby was there until about 28 weeks. She was induced again for post maturity and had a positive experience this time, with an epidural and a wonderful NHS Midwife, and Myself supporting in a non clinical role.
6 months later, she called me to say she was pregnant again.... not planned.. but coming to terms with the prospect of having 3 children and a teenage step daughter to care for.
Her Downs Risk test came back at 1:115, which both parents understood and accepted, but declined any further investigations. I found out later that this had marred all of her expectations of having a healthy baby for the remainder of her pregnancy, and was the first thing she asked about when her baby was born.
S had always gone overdue, her waters had never gone on their own and she always took ages to establish her induced labours. We even joked that this baby would be born on bonfire night, and that she needed to avoid Halloween.
At 36+6, S reported a small gush of fluid, which was checked out at hospital and nothing found.
2 days later, she paged me to say her waters had broken outside the hairdressers but with no contractions. I went over to confirm her membranes rupturing, to save both herself and the hospital time, and to organise augmentation (this trust augments after 24 hours).
We sat and drank tea for a while and S reported that she had some mild period type pains which weren’t bothering her, so I listened in again, checked her temperature and said I would go home and get sorted before her labour started, and to call me when they establish.... this was at 17.00
At 17.15, her husband called me (i have hands free in the car) and shouted ‘MARION.. YOU’D BETTER COME STRAIGHT BACK!’... I could hear S in the background moaning loudly. My green light (the best £50 i’ve spent in a long time) went on the roof and I made my way back through the appalling roadworks outside their village, with workmen moving bollards for me to hasten my journey.
When I arrived, S was on all fours rocking her pelvis and moaning softly and rhythmically. When her contractions came, she would raise the volume of this primitive moan, almost singing violently in monotone... not an angry noise, more of a focussed announcement that she was in productive pain.
At 17.40 I managed to assess and she was 5 centimetres dilated with the head at the spines.... this progress was too quick for any transfer to hospital.
This is where my complacency comes in.
I ‘assumed’ that she would have her baby later rather than earlier, and she was ‘only just 37 weeks’. Fortunately I always carry my ‘serious’ kit in the car from 36 weeks, but was lacking stuff like Entonox and inco sheets, although I did have my perennial oxygen cylinder with me. I was also concerned about S’s history, so called in the paramedics... there was no point calling anybody else... they wouldn’t have got through the evening traffic in time.
17.55 the paramedics arrived... the storm was gathering....
I could see by the way that S was behaving and other external signs that she was coming up to second stage.
The paramedics were brilliant.... they bought up entonox, pads and a delivery pack, attending to anything that I asked of them, whilst silently observing and standing in modest places in the room (man at head end, woman at business end).
18.05 Everything changes..... S is now roaring in monotone and the baby’s head is visible with a huge contraction, but disappears back. S changes her position, almost as if she needs to manoeuvre the baby down by arching her back and raising herself on her knees.
18.10 baby restitutes, and as if being twisted by an internal rebozo..... arrives slowly and gently into my hands with a huge gush of liquor...
She is here....
S automatically twists round, takes her t shirt off and holds out for her baby.... skin to skin within seconds.
No amount of Syntometrine, controlled cord traction, peeing and suckling baby was going to get that placenta out, so we ended up in hospital anyway, but.....
This woman, who happily bought into the medicalisation of her labour and birth, who ‘didn’t do pain’, who couldn’t understand why women would want to birth at home... is very happy and proud of her achievements today.
There are many books and courses, study days and workshops out there that want to ‘teach’ women to achieve a normal birth...... but at the end of the day, when a woman has to step up to the mark... she gets on and trusts in her own birthing instinct anyway..... and I always watch in wonder
My learning curve has extended once again....
It increased my belief in trusting in a woman’s own instincts during the birthing process and also a kick up the backside for me and my mistimed complacency.
S has had 2 children before.
The first was in a busy city hospital in the South 8 years ago... she was induced for post maturity
She was left alone for the majority of her labour, sustained a nasty tear, retained placenta and a major post partum haemorrhage.
Seven years and 3 miscarriages later, she met and married her current husband and became pregnant with her second child.
She employed me as her Midwife because she felt so traumatised by the previous birth, not even wanting to acknowledge that the baby was there until about 28 weeks. She was induced again for post maturity and had a positive experience this time, with an epidural and a wonderful NHS Midwife, and Myself supporting in a non clinical role.
6 months later, she called me to say she was pregnant again.... not planned.. but coming to terms with the prospect of having 3 children and a teenage step daughter to care for.
Her Downs Risk test came back at 1:115, which both parents understood and accepted, but declined any further investigations. I found out later that this had marred all of her expectations of having a healthy baby for the remainder of her pregnancy, and was the first thing she asked about when her baby was born.
S had always gone overdue, her waters had never gone on their own and she always took ages to establish her induced labours. We even joked that this baby would be born on bonfire night, and that she needed to avoid Halloween.
At 36+6, S reported a small gush of fluid, which was checked out at hospital and nothing found.
2 days later, she paged me to say her waters had broken outside the hairdressers but with no contractions. I went over to confirm her membranes rupturing, to save both herself and the hospital time, and to organise augmentation (this trust augments after 24 hours).
We sat and drank tea for a while and S reported that she had some mild period type pains which weren’t bothering her, so I listened in again, checked her temperature and said I would go home and get sorted before her labour started, and to call me when they establish.... this was at 17.00
At 17.15, her husband called me (i have hands free in the car) and shouted ‘MARION.. YOU’D BETTER COME STRAIGHT BACK!’... I could hear S in the background moaning loudly. My green light (the best £50 i’ve spent in a long time) went on the roof and I made my way back through the appalling roadworks outside their village, with workmen moving bollards for me to hasten my journey.
When I arrived, S was on all fours rocking her pelvis and moaning softly and rhythmically. When her contractions came, she would raise the volume of this primitive moan, almost singing violently in monotone... not an angry noise, more of a focussed announcement that she was in productive pain.
At 17.40 I managed to assess and she was 5 centimetres dilated with the head at the spines.... this progress was too quick for any transfer to hospital.
This is where my complacency comes in.
I ‘assumed’ that she would have her baby later rather than earlier, and she was ‘only just 37 weeks’. Fortunately I always carry my ‘serious’ kit in the car from 36 weeks, but was lacking stuff like Entonox and inco sheets, although I did have my perennial oxygen cylinder with me. I was also concerned about S’s history, so called in the paramedics... there was no point calling anybody else... they wouldn’t have got through the evening traffic in time.
17.55 the paramedics arrived... the storm was gathering....
I could see by the way that S was behaving and other external signs that she was coming up to second stage.
The paramedics were brilliant.... they bought up entonox, pads and a delivery pack, attending to anything that I asked of them, whilst silently observing and standing in modest places in the room (man at head end, woman at business end).
18.05 Everything changes..... S is now roaring in monotone and the baby’s head is visible with a huge contraction, but disappears back. S changes her position, almost as if she needs to manoeuvre the baby down by arching her back and raising herself on her knees.
18.10 baby restitutes, and as if being twisted by an internal rebozo..... arrives slowly and gently into my hands with a huge gush of liquor...
She is here....
S automatically twists round, takes her t shirt off and holds out for her baby.... skin to skin within seconds.
No amount of Syntometrine, controlled cord traction, peeing and suckling baby was going to get that placenta out, so we ended up in hospital anyway, but.....
This woman, who happily bought into the medicalisation of her labour and birth, who ‘didn’t do pain’, who couldn’t understand why women would want to birth at home... is very happy and proud of her achievements today.
There are many books and courses, study days and workshops out there that want to ‘teach’ women to achieve a normal birth...... but at the end of the day, when a woman has to step up to the mark... she gets on and trusts in her own birthing instinct anyway..... and I always watch in wonder
My learning curve has extended once again....
Wednesday, 23 September 2009
Under the Radar
I sometimes cover as an agency Midwife in maternity units quite a way from where I live.
This is a necessity for me, as Independent Midwifery is never going to make anybody rich, but gives me the reason for being a Midwife.
Last week, I encountered something that I found not just amazing, but also very sad.
At the beginning of a night shift, I was handed over care of a young girl after she had 'delivered' her baby. She was alone, but had some support from another woman, who left shortly after I took over her care. As the girl was sleeping with her baby by her side, I had time to read her notes in order to get to know her better.
This young girl was alone..... she had been bought over from Africa by her parents when she was 11, and left with an 'aunty' whilst the parents returned home. The aunty left and put her in the care of friends, who moved her on... who moved her on.
The girl was caught shoplifting a few months ago and was found to be almost 6 months pregnant, she had been sleeping in bus shelters because she didnt want to go back to the house where she was told to 'be nice' to the tenants male friends in order to stay there.
This girl had just turned 16. She had been in this country undetected for five years, no education, no healthcare, no social protection or support. She was moved from town to town as soon as any suspicion was raised.
The woman who had just left was her Foster Mother... she had gone home to get her the chicken and black eyed peas she was craving after her birth.
The girl woke and instinctively put her baby to the breast. As I introduced myself, she saw the notes open, and remarked that I too must now be fully aware of her history.
We chatted for a while and she spoke of her past, almost as if it was a relief for her to talk about it.
She told me that she had slept with 4 or 5 different men over the Christmas period, in return for food and accomodation, and that she had no idea who the father of her child was. Over the years, she had been beaten, hidden in wardrobes, put in vans taken to houses in the middle of the night. There were times when she didnt even know which town she was in.
At no time did she speak of the parents who had abandoned her.
She spoke with some emotion of her foster mother, who had given her safety and trust.
She told me about the moment her waters broke on the kitchen floor, and how her FM had cleared it up, then bathed and changed her. She asked her..'why are you doing this for me?' Her FM said....' because you are my sister..... my friends are my sisters and we are there for each other'..... it was at this moment that I had to excuse myself to the loo for fear of losing my composure.
This girl is now in the 'system'. She will be provided for.
What worries me is how many more are out there under the radar........
This is a necessity for me, as Independent Midwifery is never going to make anybody rich, but gives me the reason for being a Midwife.
Last week, I encountered something that I found not just amazing, but also very sad.
At the beginning of a night shift, I was handed over care of a young girl after she had 'delivered' her baby. She was alone, but had some support from another woman, who left shortly after I took over her care. As the girl was sleeping with her baby by her side, I had time to read her notes in order to get to know her better.
This young girl was alone..... she had been bought over from Africa by her parents when she was 11, and left with an 'aunty' whilst the parents returned home. The aunty left and put her in the care of friends, who moved her on... who moved her on.
The girl was caught shoplifting a few months ago and was found to be almost 6 months pregnant, she had been sleeping in bus shelters because she didnt want to go back to the house where she was told to 'be nice' to the tenants male friends in order to stay there.
This girl had just turned 16. She had been in this country undetected for five years, no education, no healthcare, no social protection or support. She was moved from town to town as soon as any suspicion was raised.
The woman who had just left was her Foster Mother... she had gone home to get her the chicken and black eyed peas she was craving after her birth.
The girl woke and instinctively put her baby to the breast. As I introduced myself, she saw the notes open, and remarked that I too must now be fully aware of her history.
We chatted for a while and she spoke of her past, almost as if it was a relief for her to talk about it.
She told me that she had slept with 4 or 5 different men over the Christmas period, in return for food and accomodation, and that she had no idea who the father of her child was. Over the years, she had been beaten, hidden in wardrobes, put in vans taken to houses in the middle of the night. There were times when she didnt even know which town she was in.
At no time did she speak of the parents who had abandoned her.
She spoke with some emotion of her foster mother, who had given her safety and trust.
She told me about the moment her waters broke on the kitchen floor, and how her FM had cleared it up, then bathed and changed her. She asked her..'why are you doing this for me?' Her FM said....' because you are my sister..... my friends are my sisters and we are there for each other'..... it was at this moment that I had to excuse myself to the loo for fear of losing my composure.
This girl is now in the 'system'. She will be provided for.
What worries me is how many more are out there under the radar........
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
Back on Track
Some may have noticed my absence of activity over the last few months....
The reasons for this have been 2 fold
1) I have been investigated over allegations of poor care by one of my women, and have been concerned about posting anything in case anything I said was twisted and potentially used against me.
2) The pain and heartache this has caused me, has made me wonder whether I wanted to continue being an Independent Midwife, as it made me realise just how vulnerable we are out there.
Us Midwives... us 'Sisters' ....us 'Mothers who Mother'..... us 'Witches' ...us 'Women with Women'... we all endeavour to form relationships of honesty and truthfullness with our Women and there families. Its only very rare occasions when its not reciprocated.
It was actually a man...my Friend MB who told me that I should continue despite all of this. The small percentage that causes us so much distress should be cancelled out by the many positive and heartwarming experiences we have.
Thanks Cheesy... I'm back on track x x
The reasons for this have been 2 fold
1) I have been investigated over allegations of poor care by one of my women, and have been concerned about posting anything in case anything I said was twisted and potentially used against me.
2) The pain and heartache this has caused me, has made me wonder whether I wanted to continue being an Independent Midwife, as it made me realise just how vulnerable we are out there.
Us Midwives... us 'Sisters' ....us 'Mothers who Mother'..... us 'Witches' ...us 'Women with Women'... we all endeavour to form relationships of honesty and truthfullness with our Women and there families. Its only very rare occasions when its not reciprocated.
It was actually a man...my Friend MB who told me that I should continue despite all of this. The small percentage that causes us so much distress should be cancelled out by the many positive and heartwarming experiences we have.
Thanks Cheesy... I'm back on track x x
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Disability is in the Eye of the Beholder
7.05 on Saturday the 4th of April saw the birth of Baby Freeborn... my woman's name for her new son, whilst his life name is being decided.
A beautiful, quiet, drug free, trauma free, family centred birth, in the comfort and security of the home. Breastfeeding was established very quickly with baby knowing exactly where he wanted to be... in the arms of his mother, and nobody else.
My woman recovered quickly... so much so, that she went shopping in the afternoon for the things she had not already bought for her baby, continuing to feed on demand and keeping her newborn next to her in a sling all the time.
My first postnatal visit was greeted with a cup of tea and a report of baby settled through the night, my woman recovering well, and watching her stroking her baby with her face and nose whilst he quietly fed in her arms.
So... what makes this home birth so special
My woman suffers from severe cerebral palsy, the result of suboptimal care at birth 28 years ago.
She has poor motor control, communicates with a unique language, and is wheelchair bound. She has a full time personal assistant, who helps her with her personal care and mobility, but has minimal tactile input with the baby, apart from helping with changing and positioning, when her devoted partner is busy with their other 5 year old son.
Myself and Sue (second midwife) were honoured to be part of their experience, where disability is swept into the background and normality triumphs....
B.. you truly are a birth Goddess and an inspiration to All Women x x
A beautiful, quiet, drug free, trauma free, family centred birth, in the comfort and security of the home. Breastfeeding was established very quickly with baby knowing exactly where he wanted to be... in the arms of his mother, and nobody else.
My woman recovered quickly... so much so, that she went shopping in the afternoon for the things she had not already bought for her baby, continuing to feed on demand and keeping her newborn next to her in a sling all the time.
My first postnatal visit was greeted with a cup of tea and a report of baby settled through the night, my woman recovering well, and watching her stroking her baby with her face and nose whilst he quietly fed in her arms.
So... what makes this home birth so special
My woman suffers from severe cerebral palsy, the result of suboptimal care at birth 28 years ago.
She has poor motor control, communicates with a unique language, and is wheelchair bound. She has a full time personal assistant, who helps her with her personal care and mobility, but has minimal tactile input with the baby, apart from helping with changing and positioning, when her devoted partner is busy with their other 5 year old son.
Myself and Sue (second midwife) were honoured to be part of their experience, where disability is swept into the background and normality triumphs....
B.. you truly are a birth Goddess and an inspiration to All Women x x
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
Healing the Soul
As a hospital Midwife, when I saw women come in and use HypnoBirthing for labour, I was sceptical about its success
After seeing 2 of my women use the Mongan Method, and witnessing 2 of the most beautiful births i have ever attended, I decided to find out more by attending a 4 day practitioners training workshop.
As I am not a Hypnotherapist, the first 2 days were totally taken over by learning basic deep relaxation techniques and practicing some of the excercises on each other.... I have never slept so well in years...... the next 2 days, we looked at the learning programme and watched some wonderful video footage of some amazing births.
I now know why I was so unsure of its effectiveness..... the people who it didn't work for were practicing without partner support and / or were being constantly interrupted by changes of staff or even people just coming in and out of the room.
The knowledge I have acquired over the last week has reinforced my belief that normal Birth is a naturally private process, which requires the sense of safety and trust, and should be shared with people who are closest to the mother.... and who want to be there to share the experience.....
I hope I'm not breaching copyright here, but I want to share 'Daddy's Promise' with you
I promise to love you—unconditionally
I promise to protect you—for your pain hurts me more than my own
I promise to guard and to guide you—materially, mentally, and morally
I promise to foster soundness and strength—in your health, your head and your heart
I promise to catch you doing thins right, and let you do things you way no matter how messy or asymmetrical
I promise to applaud your accomplishments—whether they be anonymous for nobody’s eyes, or world famous, for the Nobel Prize
I promise to be a good example always—for there’s no telling what act or attribute you might emulate
I promise to be honest, open and direct
I promise to be a pillar of courage and a pillow of comfort
I promise to explore the world with you, explain the world to you, and expect the world of you
I promise to be a fortress in which you can hide, a friend in whom you can confide, and a father in whose heart you’ll find love and in whose eyes you’ll find pride
By David Teplow
For Nathan, Alisha, Lily and Henry
After seeing 2 of my women use the Mongan Method, and witnessing 2 of the most beautiful births i have ever attended, I decided to find out more by attending a 4 day practitioners training workshop.
As I am not a Hypnotherapist, the first 2 days were totally taken over by learning basic deep relaxation techniques and practicing some of the excercises on each other.... I have never slept so well in years...... the next 2 days, we looked at the learning programme and watched some wonderful video footage of some amazing births.
I now know why I was so unsure of its effectiveness..... the people who it didn't work for were practicing without partner support and / or were being constantly interrupted by changes of staff or even people just coming in and out of the room.
The knowledge I have acquired over the last week has reinforced my belief that normal Birth is a naturally private process, which requires the sense of safety and trust, and should be shared with people who are closest to the mother.... and who want to be there to share the experience.....
I hope I'm not breaching copyright here, but I want to share 'Daddy's Promise' with you
I promise to love you—unconditionally
I promise to protect you—for your pain hurts me more than my own
I promise to guard and to guide you—materially, mentally, and morally
I promise to foster soundness and strength—in your health, your head and your heart
I promise to catch you doing thins right, and let you do things you way no matter how messy or asymmetrical
I promise to applaud your accomplishments—whether they be anonymous for nobody’s eyes, or world famous, for the Nobel Prize
I promise to be a good example always—for there’s no telling what act or attribute you might emulate
I promise to be honest, open and direct
I promise to be a pillar of courage and a pillow of comfort
I promise to explore the world with you, explain the world to you, and expect the world of you
I promise to be a fortress in which you can hide, a friend in whom you can confide, and a father in whose heart you’ll find love and in whose eyes you’ll find pride
By David Teplow
For Nathan, Alisha, Lily and Henry
Tuesday, 24 February 2009
Bringing me back to the surface
In the good old N H of S, there is a download system.....
A network of Midwives that you can select from and trust to download and reflect on all of your fears worries and weaknesses without any fear of retribution or ridicule...
These sessions can happen anywhere,... in the staff lounge, the kitchen, sluice, changing rooms... but the network is there .
If you are involved in the loss of a baby or you have been unfairly (or fairly) bollocked for something, you can find a corner and pull your mate in.. and have a good rant and cry
If you are intrigued by some different practice or want to question something, you can call on your network to listen and debate.
The word 'Independent' means 'not being subject to control by others'... but another meaning is 'not requiring or relying on others'... when clearly there are times that we need to.
I have very recently had an experience that has left me rather bereft of my own confidence. Something that I lost sleep over and cried over.
Wallowing in my own self pity made me forget that I was not the only Midwife 'not subject to control by others' .... just because i couldn't physically touch them.
We don't need to touch someone to be touched by their actions.....
I posted my dilemma on the Independent Midwives newsgroup after all else failed to stop me sinking ..... and many of my own network threw me lifelines, by e mail, by kind thoughts.... and even a phone call from Scotland from someone i have never met....
Thank you friends ... for stopping me drowning and taking me back to the land of hope
A network of Midwives that you can select from and trust to download and reflect on all of your fears worries and weaknesses without any fear of retribution or ridicule...
These sessions can happen anywhere,... in the staff lounge, the kitchen, sluice, changing rooms... but the network is there .
If you are involved in the loss of a baby or you have been unfairly (or fairly) bollocked for something, you can find a corner and pull your mate in.. and have a good rant and cry
If you are intrigued by some different practice or want to question something, you can call on your network to listen and debate.
The word 'Independent' means 'not being subject to control by others'... but another meaning is 'not requiring or relying on others'... when clearly there are times that we need to.
I have very recently had an experience that has left me rather bereft of my own confidence. Something that I lost sleep over and cried over.
Wallowing in my own self pity made me forget that I was not the only Midwife 'not subject to control by others' .... just because i couldn't physically touch them.
We don't need to touch someone to be touched by their actions.....
I posted my dilemma on the Independent Midwives newsgroup after all else failed to stop me sinking ..... and many of my own network threw me lifelines, by e mail, by kind thoughts.... and even a phone call from Scotland from someone i have never met....
Thank you friends ... for stopping me drowning and taking me back to the land of hope
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Slaves to the Machine
Iv'e been reflecting today with a colleague about the way that we take so much technology in our work for granted.
Recently, I've noticed that we are starting to threaten ourselves with extinction if we don't hold on to our skills.
The MCA's who are responsible for taking blood pressure in one antenatal clinic can't use a manual sphygmanometer. Student Midwives are wanting to push buttons and hear beeps rather than use their hands and eyes to develop their Midwifery senses.
A while ago, I transferred one of my women to an antenatal assessment unit for monitoring, as I heard a slow fetal heart beat at her 38 week check which was slow to recover.
The midwife to took over her care didn't palpate to find how the baby was lying to find the optimal place to find the heartbeat, but instead, swathed K. in transmission gel until she found it (after I pointed out where i had been listening half an hour before). She then walked off with no explanation of what was going on or even what the wiggly lines the machine was drawing meant.
I nipped to the loo, and when i came back I met K. walking out with a very puzzled look on her face..... After 10 minutes on the digital monitoring, she had ' met the criteria' of the system she had been put on and sent home....
Needless to say.. she had not met 'my criteria' and I may well have caused a bit of a kerfuffle when I returned to the unit to find out why there had been no explanation to the woman...
I was told ' well find a doctor then'.. so I did... which I really think DID p**s them orf!
Fortunately I had a good relationship with the doctor I found, expalined everything and reassured K.
Let's not forget that not only are our women human, but us Midwives are too... less of the automation... more of the touchy feely stuff please xx
Recently, I've noticed that we are starting to threaten ourselves with extinction if we don't hold on to our skills.
The MCA's who are responsible for taking blood pressure in one antenatal clinic can't use a manual sphygmanometer. Student Midwives are wanting to push buttons and hear beeps rather than use their hands and eyes to develop their Midwifery senses.
A while ago, I transferred one of my women to an antenatal assessment unit for monitoring, as I heard a slow fetal heart beat at her 38 week check which was slow to recover.
The midwife to took over her care didn't palpate to find how the baby was lying to find the optimal place to find the heartbeat, but instead, swathed K. in transmission gel until she found it (after I pointed out where i had been listening half an hour before). She then walked off with no explanation of what was going on or even what the wiggly lines the machine was drawing meant.
I nipped to the loo, and when i came back I met K. walking out with a very puzzled look on her face..... After 10 minutes on the digital monitoring, she had ' met the criteria' of the system she had been put on and sent home....
Needless to say.. she had not met 'my criteria' and I may well have caused a bit of a kerfuffle when I returned to the unit to find out why there had been no explanation to the woman...
I was told ' well find a doctor then'.. so I did... which I really think DID p**s them orf!
Fortunately I had a good relationship with the doctor I found, expalined everything and reassured K.
Let's not forget that not only are our women human, but us Midwives are too... less of the automation... more of the touchy feely stuff please xx
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Tricks of the Trade
I am currently providing care for a woman with cerebral palsy.
She is intelligent, witty and funny, and also a clever business woman.
Unfortunately, her use of a wheelchair and unique language (which i am currently learning) gives some ignorant (and supposedly intelligent and sensitive) people the impression of her being deaf and stupid!!
B. went into threatened pre term labour on Sunday evening at 31 weeks. She has a five year old son, but lost her daughter a couple of years ago at this gestation because of concealed placental abruption.
I had been drinking wine, so could not attend to advocate for her, but told her to go straight to the hospital. I rang ahead and the hospital were aware and waiting for her.
She was cared for by the Midwives really well, but the doctor spoke to her in a loud slow voice and babyish language, and tried to get her to take some drugs she didnt want to take, which would stop the labour.
Even though she refused, the doctor came back with a tablet to give her 'for the pain'. on further questioning, the drug was an oral version of the original drug, and the doctor changed her explanation saying it was for 'the pains', which B. refused again. She was also told that her healthy and well grown 31 week baby had a very slim chance of survival.......
B. was transferred to another hospital who had an available neonatal cot, and fortunately, was not bullied any further, and although the Midwives were very curt, and unco-operative towards me (apart from one... thanks V.) they were wonderful with B. ... she even had a specially adapted room and bed with en suite wet room and loo.
She's home now and still intact, so we are keeping our fingers crossed... and i'm not drinking until she's had this baby xx
She is intelligent, witty and funny, and also a clever business woman.
Unfortunately, her use of a wheelchair and unique language (which i am currently learning) gives some ignorant (and supposedly intelligent and sensitive) people the impression of her being deaf and stupid!!
B. went into threatened pre term labour on Sunday evening at 31 weeks. She has a five year old son, but lost her daughter a couple of years ago at this gestation because of concealed placental abruption.
I had been drinking wine, so could not attend to advocate for her, but told her to go straight to the hospital. I rang ahead and the hospital were aware and waiting for her.
She was cared for by the Midwives really well, but the doctor spoke to her in a loud slow voice and babyish language, and tried to get her to take some drugs she didnt want to take, which would stop the labour.
Even though she refused, the doctor came back with a tablet to give her 'for the pain'. on further questioning, the drug was an oral version of the original drug, and the doctor changed her explanation saying it was for 'the pains', which B. refused again. She was also told that her healthy and well grown 31 week baby had a very slim chance of survival.......
B. was transferred to another hospital who had an available neonatal cot, and fortunately, was not bullied any further, and although the Midwives were very curt, and unco-operative towards me (apart from one... thanks V.) they were wonderful with B. ... she even had a specially adapted room and bed with en suite wet room and loo.
She's home now and still intact, so we are keeping our fingers crossed... and i'm not drinking until she's had this baby xx
Fighting our Corner
These last few days have made me realise why i left the NHS. Not the Midwives... the doctors.
In the last week, I have seen the birth of one of my woman's 6th baby.
She has had 2 previous ceasarian sections for breech, but has birth 3 babies normally.
All she wanted was a chance to have a normal birth with this child, as she had vowed it was going to be her last.
The doctors threatened, bullied and tried to frighten my woman into agreeing to a c/s again.
One even withdrew care saying that he wasn't 'experienced enough' to look after her in labour. My woman is a very intelligent, and very private person, who did not take her choices lightly, and would never compromise the health of her baby or herself.. particularly with 5 other children to care for.
All of the Midwives.. including a very supportive Supervisor of Midwives, accepted her decision and eventually, so did a very kind and intelligent Consultant, who was honest about his concerns, but went along with her plan.
She birthed a beautiful girl last friday morning by emergency ceasarian section, after a labour at home and a very hairy transfer to hospital in the snow.
All of her decisions were her own, as was the choice of c/s... all she wanted was to be in control of her life and her decisions, and she got it.
I worry that she feels as if she let herself down by the decisions she made.. but I think she is a Goddess... a Diva and and a courageous example of what all women should be able to do.... make informed choices about their own lives, their own bodies and their own futures.
A colleague once quoted 'we are as brave as the women we care for' and i feel very brave and very proud of my woman's achievement.
In the last week, I have seen the birth of one of my woman's 6th baby.
She has had 2 previous ceasarian sections for breech, but has birth 3 babies normally.
All she wanted was a chance to have a normal birth with this child, as she had vowed it was going to be her last.
The doctors threatened, bullied and tried to frighten my woman into agreeing to a c/s again.
One even withdrew care saying that he wasn't 'experienced enough' to look after her in labour. My woman is a very intelligent, and very private person, who did not take her choices lightly, and would never compromise the health of her baby or herself.. particularly with 5 other children to care for.
All of the Midwives.. including a very supportive Supervisor of Midwives, accepted her decision and eventually, so did a very kind and intelligent Consultant, who was honest about his concerns, but went along with her plan.
She birthed a beautiful girl last friday morning by emergency ceasarian section, after a labour at home and a very hairy transfer to hospital in the snow.
All of her decisions were her own, as was the choice of c/s... all she wanted was to be in control of her life and her decisions, and she got it.
I worry that she feels as if she let herself down by the decisions she made.. but I think she is a Goddess... a Diva and and a courageous example of what all women should be able to do.... make informed choices about their own lives, their own bodies and their own futures.
A colleague once quoted 'we are as brave as the women we care for' and i feel very brave and very proud of my woman's achievement.
The Start of Sharing my Passion
One of my clients has a blog which I follow, which maps out the landmarks in the lives of her family.
As an Independent Midwife, I don't often get the chance to share my experiences and feelings with others, simply because I'm not part of the big NHS machine any more.... so here goes.... the intrepid adventures of Marion the Midwife.
As an Independent Midwife, I don't often get the chance to share my experiences and feelings with others, simply because I'm not part of the big NHS machine any more.... so here goes.... the intrepid adventures of Marion the Midwife.
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